We’re happy and excited because a few weeks ago, our daughter Valerie got engaged and quicker than you can say, “Never mind a long engagement. Let’s get on with starting our lives together,” she and her fiancé Devin had set an August wedding date.

As their wedding plans are starting to take shape, it’s clear that Valerie and Devin, like many millennials, are going to do their “I do’s” their way. And I think that’s great.

When I planned my wedding – hard to believe it was 32 years ago – I felt that I needed to conform to expected traditions. Wedding invitations had to be engraved in a lacy font, the ceremony had to be in a church (regardless that we didn’t have any spiritual affiliation back then), my dress had to be white, the groomsmen had to wear black, the cake should have tiers, and on and on.

When the last dance was done and the DJ had packed up his turntable (this was the 1980’s), I think that everyone who came to our wedding did have a good time. Everything was lovely…but predictable.

For instance, I’ve always regretted that I was so rigid in my planning. I was marrying an illustrator/advertising art director. Did we put our heads together and come up with something creative and unique for our invitations? Nope. I was afraid of breaking the rules.

So I am really enjoying watching Valerie and Devin’s out-of-the box wedding plans unfold. Neither of them is the type of person who likes to have a lot of fuss made over them so they are planning a low key ceremony and reception that that is perfectly suited to their personalities. They are firm about sticking with the kind of wedding that will make them happy – and not just going along to please a parent, wedding planner, or just because that’s the way it’s always done. Valerie politely listens to my more traditional suggestions and then lets me know that she’s got it covered.

With that said, I can’t wait to see the invitations that Valerie and Devin – both who are illustrators and graphic designers – come up with. I’m guessing that her (rented) wedding dress won’t be white. I’m really looking forward to an intimate, family-only ceremony officiated by a pastor friend of theirs at the Courthouse and not a stiff formal church wedding. The taco truck that’s going to cater the reception? Sounds like the perfect party food. When I asked Valerie about a cake, she said they know a great little Mexican bakery nearby. Churros and sopapillas perhaps?

Even if Valerie and Devin had chosen to elope – and I’m quite sure they considered that option – the important thing is not how they get married, but who they are marrying. No doubt about that…they have made the right decision.

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